The Mid-Life Crisis Meets the Warrior
The Mid-Life Warrior is a concept that came to me recently while reading a classic of Buddhist literature, Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior. by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. In the Shambhala tradition of Buddhism, the Warrior is a powerful concept that embodies both spiritual and physical aspects of life.
I was reflecting on my current lifestyle and how a lot men in their fifties, as they near the end of their parenting responsibilities, begin focusing on themselves. Because oftentimes such introspection and thinking turns into a Corvette or twenty-something girlfriend, our society frowns upon this time of personal evaluation and labels it a mid-life crisis.
In my case, I’m not interested in either a Corvette or a relationship with a twenty-something. My children are twenty-somethings and I can’t even image that. No, for me it’s more about lifestyle. It’s about cultivating a lifestyle based on a personal philosophy that’s grounded not in religion, but in my highest self; in ethical thought and actions.
I see my lifestyle changing dramatically in the next few years. My youngest child is nearly 16 and in just two years he’ll enter his young-adult years. When that time comes, he can stay with me or move on; it’s his choice. But my lifestyle will change regardless.
Warriorship is for Both Men and Women
There is no exclusivity of a mid-life crisis in terms of gender. They are just as common in women, and studies show that women experience them earlier in life than men. Women tend to begin self-evaluation as early as their late twenties while men do so largely in their fourth and fifth decades. There are exceptions, of course, and everyone is different. The introspection in women can be linked to the presence of children, their role in the home or workplace, and their sense of personal identity apart of all of these.
Speaking for my own experience only, I’ve come to a place in my life where my I can see the end of my direct role in my youngest son’s life. It’s a sobering thought to realize these days so filled with academic coaching, playing both mom and dad, and trying to model responsible male behavior will be coming to a narrowed conclusion.
Though my modeling of acceptable behavior will always be my paternal responsibility, I do know that I need to discover what my life needs to be going forward. My day-work is unsatisfying and I want to be free to pursue that which ignites my deepest passions.
Turning the Mid-Life Crisis Into Mid-Life Warriorship
I’d like to do away with the negative term once and for all. I’d like to focus this post on a new term, Mid-Life Warriorship because I feel it encourages rather than hinders our development.
My version of the mid-life warrior is the opposite of the battle-ready stereotype. Instead, I see it as becoming a warrior of peace, of kindness and compassion; a warrior dedicated to physical as well as emotional well-being and to the cultivation of a balanced life. Still, the warrior images of strength and courage are required to persevere in life, especially during periods of self-evaluation and discovery.
The Warriorship Triangle
I see warriorship as a continual path of exploration across three main components: spiritual, physical, and emotional.
The base of spiritual discovery and development supports the resulting growth in both the physical and emotional components of our lives.
Each component would be defined as follows:
The Spiritual Component ~ Dedication to meditation or contemplative pursuits involving introspection and self-reflection without self-judgement.
The Physical Component ~ Disciplined in one’s approach to nutrition (focusing on healthier eating habits) and activity with an emphasis on yoga another favorite fitness routine.
The Emotional Component ~ Disciplined in practicing kindness, compassion for others resulting in an even-tempered approach to what life offers.
Warriorship and a Meaningful Life
Warriorship, as I’ve defined it, leads to meaning in life. I know because for months now I’ve been investigating and interacting with these three components of my life. I’m finding it an enjoyable journey.
Though it appears to be rather ego-centric in design, the goal is to better serve others and find meaning in doing so. It’s only through lighting a lamp that we are able to shed light on the path. In other words, working on ourselves better equips us to make a difference in the world.
In order to effect change, we first need to become the change.
What is Your Reaction?
Do you find resonance with the concept of a mid-life warrior or do you believe it’s nonsense? Do you see any validity in spending time in introspection and self-development in order to be happier and more content in life? Please share your reactions below or on this entry on Google +.
I’ve always had a strong affinity for warrior ideals. Have you read Paulo Coelho’s book Warrior of the Light? If not, I think you might really dig it. I like what you’re doing here and am impressed that you even created a diagram, which illustrates your concepts perfectly.
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I’ve not read Coelho’s book. But I’ll check it out. As far as the diagram, it’s SnagIt to the rescue.